“May I ask for examples of bad sales managers? Jennifer-Aspiring Unit Sales Manager
 
Allow me some latitude of non-felonious mischief, to tackle your query with zesty candidness.  So let me introduce to you the 13 Sales Managers you should not emulate!
 
1.       The ‘SENIOR’ MANAGER - Lackadaisical at best, pig-headedness at worst, this artefact on legs, stewards only static thinking and decay. Creativity is massacred by a raised eyebrow permanently supplied with lactic acid to ensure facial cramps. His yawn contagiously promotes somnolence even with the most energetic subordinates. Unsurprisingly, museums deny vacancies for this Medussa–reincarnate, albeit not of management posts but of showcases for fossil display!
 
2.       The ‘SOLO’ MANAGER– This fellow adamantly believes, to get anything done, he must do it himself.  Presumably his dictionary lacks the letter ‘D’, including the word Delegate!
 
3.       The ‘SERMON MANAGER’ – Days commence with chewing sessions, you wonder if his molars remain intact. Likewise, days dwindle to the twilight leaving heavy baggage not even Herculean porters on steroids can carry for long hauls.
 
4.       The ‘SIGNING’ MANAGER – This fellow never seems to have time to coach people because ne never seems to finish signing and poring over documents and reports. How you wish he was signing your bonus and commission for a change!
 
5.       The ‘SOAP OPERA’ MANAGER – Being around this lady provides surrogate episodes to your favourite weekly tear-jerker. You wish a set of reality cameras wereincessantly capturing the multiple angles of drama unravelling from a pitiful cuticle on her left ring finger to the gripes she has with her counterparts or superiors!
 
6.       The ‘SENDING’ MANAGER – This person is glued more to screens from desktops to mobile devices seldom finding time beyond the hordes of emails, text messages and private messages that seem to never dwindle in numbers. Face-to-face interaction is missed in favour of composing something to send out!
 
7.       The ‘SABOTEUR MANAGER –This one never outgrew predatory instincts masquerading as competitiveness. She competes with her subordinates, purposely stifles their growth and oftentimes steals credit for success, appalling even seasoned con men with government badges, who find the schemes too impetuously blatant for their own maleficent taste!
 
8.       The ‘SILENT’ MANAGER – Poor fellow never can defend anything, not his team’s performance, not any support needed. This breathing punching bag seems to tirelessly take top management’s punches with an innately deafening silence on matters of controversy compelling justification.
 
9.       The ‘SUBMISSIVE’ MANAGER –This one instead does nothing else but submit stuff, reports, reviews, and anything requiring documentation, while missing out on being able to positively influence the actions from which the submitted stuff’s content emanate from.
 
10.    The ‘SOCIALITE’ MANAGER –No, this one does not make it to the high society page! Instead this sports a pair of gills, imbibes alcohol like a fish running out of oceans to drink. He spends most of his time inebriated with customers or his own little circle of bottle-collecting subordinates. As a subordinate, you need to grow fins to be in his habitat, to land choice beach heads of assignments or alternatively, wallow obliviously in shallow waters of deserted islands, till Chronos deprives you of opportunities or Neptune decides to retrieve his long lost step-son.
 
11.    The ‘SUREFIRE’ MANAGER – This person can’t say no. Oftentimes overpromises raising unnecessary levels of expectations with subordinates, customers and management. He always says “sure” unbeknownst that one more will get him or you ‘fired’!
 
12.    The ‘SURGERY’ MANAGER –Chronically lacking in planning, crisis is never prevented. Major surgery to remedy compounded, complex complexities of mutated problems becomes daily routine! Well you will never run out of excitement, cardiac arrest not excluded, with this type of manager!
 
13.    The ‘SOUL-REAPING’ MANAGER –This one demands, time, effort and solid results or you will unwillingly enrich the mortar paste, comprised of skeletons of fallen predecessors. His goals are primordial, not even vacations, family and Zeus himself can distract him from. Not a bad deal if you are already a performer but predictably traumatic to new-borns in the ways of sales.
 
Ultimately great sales managers are those who use and dynamically shift to contextually-appropriate styles, anchored onto scientifically sound strategy derived from clear situational analysis of markets, accounts and sales subordinates. Such veer you far away from these sorry, static stereotypes of sales managers!
 
Rowen Untivero is a Partner and Chief Sales Strategist of Mansmith and Fielders, Inc., the country’s leading marketing, sales, strategy and innovation training company.  Rowen, has injected much science to sales and sales management for more than a quarter of a century. Please send your questions, comments or feedback to mentors@mansmith.net. You can also visit www.mansmith.net.